mom and kidsWhen a couple calls it quits, the kids are often left wondering if there was anything they could have done to prevent the split. Feelings of guilt and extreme mood swings are common in children of divorce. The list of things kids need from their parents is as unique as is each child, but with the right information you and your ex can put your kids first and make sure their emotional well-being remains intact.

A good guide for things that children need from each parent during and after a divorce includes:

● Involvement: the need your kids have for you to take them to the zoo, read them a book, or just ask about their day is intensified during and after a divorce. Calling, writing letters, sending cards, and even doling out discipline are all ways that make a child feel safe and secure.

● No fighting! It should go without saying, but when the parents keep their disagreements and arguments out of their kid’s presence, the kids are happier and better adjusted. The same goes for using the kids in a fight, or as a messenger between two adults who are unable to effectively communicate. Resisting the urge to put your kids in the middle of grown up matter results in a healthier environment for everyone, including you!

● Be nice: save your complaints about your ex for a therapy session and you’ll be amazed at how much more quickly you are able to dismiss bad feelings.

Reassuring your kids you love and care for them will hugely benefit a child of divorce. Being honest and talking about age appropriate issues with your children shows you respect them and are working towards a better future. Kids often model the behavior they see, exercising restraint around the children goes a long way towards a well-adjusted child.

For more information about what kids expect during and after a divorce, contact a Stuart and Treasure Coast family law attorney with experience. The fee for your fist visit is a flat fee and we work with you for a cost effective result.